Ladies, does your man look like this?

Posted: April 30, 2008 in Men vs. Women

I had a very interesting IM conversation today at work with one of my girls from college. She asked me, as a man, what do I find sexy about women. Random question, but one I found very easy to answer. I listed, in no particular order — confidence, style, sense of humor and well kept (hair, nails, etc.) Apparently, she had spent her entire day not working, but conducting some sort of informal poll among her guys friends in order to give her and some of her lady friends something to discuss at happy hour.

But it seems I had continued the trend of not mentioning any “physical traits” as something I found sexy, which she found interesting. I told her that it’s not that those things don’t matter, it’s just that even the finest women who has all the “assets” can be a turn off/not sexy if she has a bad attitude, doesn’t “keep herself up” and talks likes she hasn’t read a book in years.

Here’s where it got interesting. I said that men aren’t as picky as women. Not saying that we don’t know want we want, we just aren’t as specific as the ladies. In my experiences growing up, going through college and into my “grown man” phase, women, particularly those of the darker hue, tend to have measurements, requirements and checklists.

“I want a tall man — 6-2, 220-pounds”

“Tall dark and handsome”

“I don’t want a fat brother, he needs to be in shape.”

I could go on and on. The fact that men and women have standards is fine. We both know and understand what we want, what turns us on and what makes us happy. But, in reality, who we end up with may not or look like what we imagined. I represent for the under 6-foot brothers and I’ve actually had this very conversation with the SO. I’m certainly not as tall as she may like or may look like she may have pictured, but I like to think she’s happy which is what should matter.

But everyone doesn’t realize this. Women (and men) spend their lives lonely simply because they can’t find their Boris Kodjoe, Denzel, Sanaa or Halle. And, along the way, they pass up on the “average guy or girl” which may be the best thing, although it may not seem that way on the outside.

Again, there’s nothing wrong with having standards, just be cautious and know that everything that glitters ain’t gold.


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