Sometime ago, the Moose and I were having a late breakfast at one of our favorite spots in town. Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of our usual weekend outings. As is the norm, along with our brunch came a side of deep conversation. It is not unusual for this to happen. Because of our schedules, we rarely get to engage each other in “intense” conversation during the week. So, whenever we get a chance, we take advantage.
This particular day, the conversation centered around faith, spirituality and church. At this particular time both of us were struggling with each and were looking for support and reinforcement as we continue to improve and grow spiritually and in life. As the conversation progressed, she asked me something to the effect of why it is I am reactive versus proactive when it comes to church. Basically, she wanted to know why I always wait on her to mention church and seemingly only go when she suggests it.
Admittedly, there are times when I get like a cat in a corner and get defensive when I feel like I’m being attacked. Especially when I feel strongly about something. And while I have good intentions and only want to express my point of view, sometimes when I respond, my approach is not as appropriate as it could be.
Nonetheless, I expressed to the Moose that I did, prior to meeting her, did go to church on the regular and that she nor our relationship impacted my church going. Whether she brought in up or not, in the end, it was my decision to go or not to go. She understood.
I grew up in the church. In the words of Steve Harvey, it was church all the time. And, as a child, I had no choice. I was exposed to church and after a while, I got used to it. It wasn’t until I left home for college that it was truly up to me whether I attended or not. It wasn’t until then when I really became able to realize and decipher my opinions on church with out feeling the “pressure” of family to make it feel like I HAD to go. This is not to say that I stopped going altogether, because I tried and still do try to attend and worship on the regular.
But on this Saturday, I opened up to the Moose that where I am now, it’s just as important that I live my life in way that people I encounter on a daily basis will see something positive in me and will be impacted in a good way. To me, that’s just as important as being in church every Sunday morning. There are some in church all the time, yet I see no sign of Jesus in their daily walk. To me, that’s the challenge of my ministry. I want to be able to show through my life, that there’s something about me that some people may want to emulate to make their lives better.
If I can help someone or be a positive influence on my brother or sister, that’s spreading to gospel in my opinion. So when I laugh, joke and am being happy-go-lucky, yes I’m being myself, but also I’m hoping others will try what has worked for me. Because when I see others blessed, I want to find out their secret as well.
