This is a serious matter

First of all, shout out to the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. because indeed, this is a ser-i-ous matta.

Or is it?

I’m a laid back guy. I try my hardest not to take my self, or anything I’m involved with, too serious. I try to live each day to the fullest and enjoy every moment. I’m old enough now to fully understand the saying “here today, gone tomorrow.”

For as long as I can remember, because of this mentality, I’ve been labled as nonchalant. People mistake my calmness for not caring or not being concerned. It’s something I’ve gotten used to, but still struggle with.

Make no mistake about it, I know when and where to turn up my serious meter. And when I’m engaged in conversation with someone, although I’m not outwardly showing it, I’ve very into and concerned about whatever said person is discussing with me.

The other “problem” I run into often is that I don’t worry about things I have no control over. To me, it’s not worth it. This is not to say that I don’t think ahead, because that’s not the case. Again, I’m old enough now to fully appreciate the saying “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” Perhaps to a fault of mine, I often times implore the “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it” method of thinking. To those who don’t think like that and who don’t grasp that because I’m not worried doesn’t mean I don’t care, that can be troublesome. It can cause them to be frustrated with me and question their own logic. This is not my intent. I just don’t take things as serious as them.

I question myself long and hard about this. I wonder if I should change. Most of the time, I could care less about what people think about me. I am me, I am ok. But when you constantly hear the same thing for years and you see how it affects the ones you love, you tend to look in the mirror, which I have done. I’ve question whether my happy-go-lucky outlook is a sign of immaturity.  I wonder how I can improve without changing who I am at heart.

Perhaps I can find a happy medium. Maybe if I adjust my body language, but keep the same mentality, the perception of uninterest will go away.  Or, maybe people will understand that although it may not appear to them that I care, I can and know how to be serious.