This is a serious matter

First of all, shout out to the ladies of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. because indeed, this is a ser-i-ous matta.

Or is it?

I’m a laid back guy. I try my hardest not to take my self, or anything I’m involved with, too serious. I try to live each day to the fullest and enjoy every moment. I’m old enough now to fully understand the saying “here today, gone tomorrow.”

For as long as I can remember, because of this mentality, I’ve been labled as nonchalant. People mistake my calmness for not caring or not being concerned. It’s something I’ve gotten used to, but still struggle with.

Make no mistake about it, I know when and where to turn up my serious meter. And when I’m engaged in conversation with someone, although I’m not outwardly showing it, I’ve very into and concerned about whatever said person is discussing with me.

The other “problem” I run into often is that I don’t worry about things I have no control over. To me, it’s not worth it. This is not to say that I don’t think ahead, because that’s not the case. Again, I’m old enough now to fully appreciate the saying “He who fails to plan, plans to fail.” Perhaps to a fault of mine, I often times implore the “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it” method of thinking. To those who don’t think like that and who don’t grasp that because I’m not worried doesn’t mean I don’t care, that can be troublesome. It can cause them to be frustrated with me and question their own logic. This is not my intent. I just don’t take things as serious as them.

I question myself long and hard about this. I wonder if I should change. Most of the time, I could care less about what people think about me. I am me, I am ok. But when you constantly hear the same thing for years and you see how it affects the ones you love, you tend to look in the mirror, which I have done. I’ve question whether my happy-go-lucky outlook is a sign of immaturity.  I wonder how I can improve without changing who I am at heart.

Perhaps I can find a happy medium. Maybe if I adjust my body language, but keep the same mentality, the perception of uninterest will go away.  Or, maybe people will understand that although it may not appear to them that I care, I can and know how to be serious.

 

This little light of mine

Sometime ago, the Moose and I were having a late breakfast at one of our favorite spots in town. Nothing out of the ordinary, just one of our usual weekend outings. As is the norm, along with our brunch came a side of deep conversation.  It is not unusual for this to happen. Because of our schedules, we rarely get to engage each other in “intense” conversation during the week. So, whenever we get a chance, we take advantage.

This particular day, the conversation centered around faith, spirituality and church. At this particular time both of us were struggling with each and were looking for support and reinforcement as we continue to improve and grow spiritually and in life. As the conversation progressed, she asked me something to the effect of why it is I am reactive versus proactive when it comes to church. Basically, she wanted to know why I always wait on her to mention church and seemingly only go when she suggests it.

Admittedly, there are times when I get like a cat in a corner and get defensive when I feel like I’m being attacked. Especially when I feel strongly about something. And while I have good intentions and only want to express my point of view, sometimes when I respond, my approach is not as appropriate as it could be.

Nonetheless, I expressed to the Moose that I did, prior to meeting her, did go to church on the regular and that she nor our relationship impacted my church going. Whether she brought in up or not, in the end, it was my decision to go or not to go. She understood.

I grew up in the church. In the words of Steve Harvey, it was church all the time. And, as a child, I had no choice. I was exposed to church and after a while, I got used to it. It wasn’t until I left home for college that it was truly up to me whether I attended or not. It wasn’t until then when I really became able to realize and decipher my opinions on church with out feeling the “pressure” of family to make it feel like I HAD to go. This is not to say that I stopped going altogether, because I tried and still do try to attend and worship on the regular.

But on this Saturday, I opened up to the Moose that where I am now, it’s just as important that I live my life in way that people I encounter on a daily basis will see something positive in me and will be impacted in a good way. To me, that’s just as important as being in church every Sunday morning. There are some in church all the time, yet I see no sign of Jesus in their daily walk. To me, that’s the challenge of my ministry. I want to be able to show through my life, that there’s something about me that some people may want to emulate to make their lives better.

If I can help someone or be a positive influence on my brother or sister, that’s spreading to gospel in my opinion. So when I laugh, joke and am being happy-go-lucky, yes I’m being myself, but also I’m hoping others will try what has worked for me. Because when I see others blessed, I want to find out their secret as well.

 

Sit yo a** down

I saw this live and after I figured out the young lady in the middle of the rucus was Gloria James, LeBron’s mom, I died laughing. And I wasn’t even going to bring this up until Jemele weighed in today.

I agree with her on this point– you should never, under any circumstances, cuss and your mom, or either parent for that matter. As upset as I’ve been at both of my parents, I can’t even fathom what would happen if I drop a cuss word on them.

But in this situation and under the circumstances, I can understand. I can also understand it if he and his mom have that kind of relationship — which some people do — where bad language is the norm. But in a crucial game four, in a must-win situation and with large men in the way, I can see how Bron Bron would be upset and let that slip. I can see it, but it doesn’t make it right. James apologized after the game and on ESPN the following day.

Jemele suggests we can’t look at LeBron the same way after this. I disagree. Anyone who’s played sports has dealt with over zealous parents and, while we may not have cussed at them, we’ve wanted to put them in their place. Many my feel as though LeBron was out of line, particularly since this was seen by millions. But, in this case I think we can give him a pass because when you’re paid millions and in the heat of battle,you have to be on your game at all times. And, if someone gets in your way they’re fair game, even if it’s your mom.

Just make sure apologize real quick.

Week in Review

 

• It’s been a while since I’ve sat down on a Friday and have actually felt 100-percent good about the week that was. But despite a couple of frustrating moments and just everyday life stuff, I do.  It started at church on Sunday when, for whatever reason, it seemed as though the message was directly aimed at me and what I was going through. I’ll save you the details, but it was what I need at the time I needed it. Because of that, my week started off on a good note.

 

• The Moose had to go to New York for a couple days for work.  Although I miss her when she’s gone, it’s a good thing to, every once in a while, have that time apart where you can just chill out and have some “you” time. I was able to do this and appreciate and reflect on her in her absence. I was proud of her being involved in a prominent conference for our company and shared this with her when she got back. I think it’s important to support each other’s endeavours in relationships.

 

•  I consider myself a very caring person. I try to show that in my everyday life in how I treat people. I try to live by the golden rule — Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. In relationships, I try to follow that same rule. But sometimes I have to be careful and not let my good intentions come across as being untrustworthy, overprotective and/or smothering. But also sometimes, I just can’t help it. On Tuesday, the Moose went to a Yankees game out in the Bronx. She went with a friend and sent me a text letting me know they were leaving and would hit me up in a bit.  I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was about 1:30 and saw I hadn’t heard from her. I grew concerned because it was late and, although she’s familiar with the city, she’s not from there and could easily get lost late a night. As time went on, I kept getting her voicemail and as much as I tried not to worry, I just couldn’t. I wanted to know she was safe, that she was ok. To make a long story short, we eventually were able to connect and it turns out we were both trying to get in touch with each other, but to no avail. One of the many lessons I took from this situation was it made me realize how much she means to me because for an instance, I imagined something bad happened. I couldn’t fathom not having her around. Maybe I overreacted, but I’m just glad she’s ok.

 

• Sunday in Mother’s Day. If there’s one person you owe the world to, it’s mom. There isn’t enough space for me to adequately describe what my mother means to me. I can just simply sum it up by saying I love my mother and she means the world to me. So Happy Mother’s Day. Make sure you call, send a card and go to church.

 

If loving God is wrong, I don’t want to be Wright

For years, it’s been well-documented that one of the most segregated hours in America is around 11 a.m. on Sunday mornings. For as much as we’ve made racial progress in the country in the past 40 years, when it comes to religion, particularly the Christian faith, there remains a distant separation between black and white. As someone who grew up in church, I can testify to the fact that black folk love themselves some Jesus. Those who grew up in the black church, whether Baptist, Pentecostal or Non-Denomination can back me up. This not to say that those of other races are equally, if not more, religious, but black folk “worship” a tad bit different. And if you’ve been to a “white” church and a “black” church, you know what I’m talking about.

The black church with music, testimonies, praise dancin’, altar call and the list goes on and on tends to be more lively than our caucasion counterparts. Sometimes, if we’re not careful, we can lose sight of why we’re even in church because we’re distracted by the “show” that’s going on. Our preachers and pastors are not only leaders of the congregation, but widely recognized as leaders in the community. 

 In the pulpit, sermons are lively. Black folks are familiar with this. It’s part of our culture.

So when the whole Jeremiah Wright thing went down, there were mixed emotions, for me at least. As I watched clips, he appeared, on surface level to sounds like a “regular” preacher. While I think it’s safe to assume most black folks had heard other black preachers speak about and in the way Wright has, it baffled me and others to listen to some of the news outlets present Wright and his “preaching style” as something unorthodox. As time went on, it was clear the lack of exposure to what goes on in the black church would lead to the Wright situation being overblown, which wouldn’t be good for Barack Obama.

My issue wasn’t witht he media coverage of Rev. Wright, although I wonder how many black producers sat in on meetings at FOXNews and MSNBC. If so, would this have been brought to light as much as it has. My beef landed directly on Wright. When the spotlight was on him, in my opinion, he has milked his 15 minutes of fame and has been seeking more attention than need be and, in the process, hurt the Obama campaign. In the past couple of months, Wright has been seen on every show, read about in every publication and has been flying all over the country to speaking engagements. From the sidelines, a lot of people, both black and white wishes he would just sit himself down somewhere. Obama is embarrassed. Black preachers from all over are ashamed and apologetic.

It’s sad on many levels. It’s just a shame when the mainstream media gets a peek inside the black church, this is what they see. I just hope it doesn’t cost Obama the election.